Aqua Teen Hungerforce Quotes

Memorable Quotes from
"Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

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Carl: I'm gonna give this rainbow thing another five minutes...and if it don't show up, I'm going down to the store and I'm buyin' a Hot Rod magazine!

Inignot: You and your third dimension.
Frylock: What about it?
Inignot: Oh, nothing, it's cute. We have five.
[Pause]
Err: Thousand.
Inignot: Yes, five thousand.
Err: Don't question it!
Frylock: Oh, yeah? Well, I only see two.
Inignot: Well, that sounds like a personal problem.

Master Shake: Good morning Carl. How's it goin?
Carl: Hello there Mr. Food Monster Man. This is how it's goin. Look at my freakin' car! It is crushed, to Bejeesus and back.
Master Shake: [stares at wrecked car] Have you gotten any estimates?

Meatwad: Master Shake told me to go in the freezer, because there was a carnival in there. There was no carnival, it was a damn freezer! I got freezer burn, and I got mushed up against that chicken.

Master Shake: A car cannot be killed, Frylock. It was murdered!

Frylock: Shake, have you seen my towel?
Master Shake: Just use a paper towel!
Frylock: I'm taking a bath!
Master Shake: They're right in the kitchen, just go get 'em!

Inignot: Hello, Carl, I am Inignot and this is Err.
Err: I am Err.
Inignot: We are Mooninites from the inner core of the moon.
Err: You said it right!
Inignot: Our race is hundred of years beyond yours.
Err: Man, you hear what he's saying?
Inignot: Some would say that the Earth is our moon.
Err: We're the moon.
Inignot: But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is: The Moon.
Err: Point is: we're at the center, not you!
Carl: No, the real point is: I don't give a damn.

Inignot: This pornography is infinitely excellent.

Inignot: Our god is a god of vengeance. A god of hate.
Err: A god of action!
Inignot: Our god is an Indian who can turn into a wolf and-
Err: Dude, that's Wolfen.
Inignot: Yes, well Wolfen will come after you, with his razor.

Frylock: He needs his brain or else he's just going to float around saying 'do what now.'
Meatwad: Do what now?

Meatwad: Where's my whiskey? I'm 'bout to get tore up!

Meatwad: You don't need a machine to make a rainbow for rainbows are made of happy thoughts and dreams and chocolate unicorns and gumdrops and licorice sunsets and fuzzy gum drops bears and chocolate covered chocolate gumdrop land...

Carl: What happened to my freakin' car?

Meatwad: Take the meatbridge! It's right here.

Frylock: Shake, how did you get in this beam?
Master Shake: Look, that beam came from space. You don't own space, so stop acting like you do.

Meatwad: Wait a second, this ain't no brain...this a damn bee's nest.

[Emory and Oglethorpe are two aliens; Frylock has beamed onto their ship.]
Frylock: What are these spikes, these spikes all over your body? I mean, surely they have a purpose.
Emory: What spikes?
Oglethorpe: Oh, these? No no no, these are not spikes; they are pointy arms.
Emory: We squirt soap out of them, and that's how we keep the ship so clean. See?
[does so]
Frylock: That's soap? Well, it kind of smells like waste.
Emory: Well, one man's waste is another man's... soap.

Carl: Yeah, well, I noticed this long cord comin' from my house, then I noticed YOUR house, glowin' like the freakin' SUN. So I put two and two together and decided - you're pissin' me off!

Inignot: Your roommate is a nerd.
Err: Yes, on the moon nerds get their pants pulled down and they are spanked with moon rocks.

Inignot: Pick up that stereo and sink it deep within your body.
Meatwad: But then that would be stealing.
Err: Not if you need it, and you need it.

[looking at porn]
Err: Oh man, you gotta check this out.
Meatwad: Oh yeah baby, that's a neat car she's washing. You think that's a straight 6?
Err: I think I have a straight 6.
Inignot: Ooooo! Err, your sexual innuendo is priceless!

[Frylock tries to get Shake to help him find Meatwad]
Master Shake: I should not crawl, so that a child may live.
Frylock: What?
Master Shake: Well that's what it does!

Master Shake: Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I've heard the arguments on both sides, and there is nothing to convince me of the need to brush your teeth.

Robot: Well, this is going to take a long time, so you may want to get some snacks.
Frylock: No, no, that's alright. I think I can wait for it.
Shake: Well, I'M going to get food.
Robot: THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed.
Frylock: Well, that still doesn't tell me why you--
Robot: I'm not finished. YOU should have gotten a snack. A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train," but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way.
Meatwad: Boy, this IS a long story. Maybe I WILL get something to eat.
Carl: Yeah, I think I'm gonna get drunk while I listen.

Captain: I'd like to take this time to point out that I'm a repeated sex offender.

Frylock: What happened to Meatwad?
Err: He got busted man.
Inignot: For drinking and stealing and smoking in a non-smoking area.

Master Shake: I got rid of my teeth at a young age because..... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.

Meatwad: I hear the sounds of wings on the roof! It's the Tooth Fairy!
Master Shake: What, is she coming for your one tooth? She won't, since I'm gonna kick it outta your head while you're asleep!
Meatwad: [starts crying]

M.C. Pee Pants: I had a strizoke in my brizain, you know what I'm sayin'? So I can't move all good.

Meatwad: I don't have any real dolls, I prefer to use my infinite imagination...cause I ain't got no damn money.

[Master Shake is trying to get out of cleaning up the kitchen]
Master Shake: That room is dead to me! Let's burn down the kitchen and use the living room as a kitchen from now on! Look, here's our stove!
[sets the couch on fire]

[Master Shake has made a mess of the kitchen. Frylock has sent him to the store to buy cleaning supplies]
Frylock: [pulls out an aerosol can] What? Is this cheese? How are you going to clean up the kitchen with cheese, Shake?
Master Shake: We don't...I mean, that room is dead to me now! Let's just wall it off and use the living as our kitchen from now on! Look, here's our new stove!
[Sets the couch on fire]

Ignignot: We do whatever we want whenever we want, at all times.

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen! If I cut my own head off with sufficient force, the blood will rocket out my neck and propel my body to Phoenix!
Steve: Um, what's in Phoenix?
Dr. Weird: Your momma's in Phoenix, Steve! Now get my axe!

Ol' Drippy: Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.

Master Shake: You're both yo-yo's. Shut up ya yo-yo's.

Meatwad: Yeah, that'd be fun...if I was stupid!

[Shake is going to jump off a cliff so he can become a Highlander.]
Frylock: Shake wait! The Highlander was just a movie.
Master Shake: No, Frylock, The Highlander was a documentary, and events happened in real time.

[Oglethorpe knocks over a barbecue]
Emory: That is great! Why don't you burn the whole ship down while you're at it.
Oglethorpe: Shut up! I have an amazing plan to betray our new friend. HAHAHAHAHA!
Emory: I thought the plan was to barbecue with him.
Oglethorpe: Plans are for fools! When he gets here we melt him...and laugh...on into the night. HAHAHAHAHA!

Oog: So there me was beating boulder into powder because me couldn't eat it, and magic ball land in lap. Naturally me think, "All right, free egg!" because... me stupid and me caveman. So me spent about three days humping and bust open with thigh bone so me could eat it good. Then magic ball shoot Oog with beam, and next thing me know me go out and invent wheel out of dinosaur brain! Magic dino wheel rolls for three short distance until me eat it. The point is, me get smarter. Soon me walk upright, me feather back dirty matted hair into wings for style, and me stop to use bathroom as opposed to me just doing it as me walk.

Carl: I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!